So recently I'm on the verge of going crazzzzeee because of my parents. I seriously dont understand why nothing positive ever comes out of their mouth. Insults after insults. its like they will never praise ANYBODY. in their world, they're the best of the best, They're always correct. they find everybody in Singapore weird ( in terms of dressing up, food likings, attitude wise, looks wise ) but never ever thought that actually they are the weird ones.
Since young I've always wonder, why dont i have any close relatives, why dont my parents have any friends, why does my sister rebel so much. and maybe this is the reason why.
Maybe the reason my parents are like this is because they grew up in tough times, they barely survived, they made it so far, and never want me to go through what they went through.But im not them. ): I want to work hard for myself, i want to grow up in my own way. I want to be happy, i want to always be close to my friends. I want to have people to share my joy and sorrows with. even when im an old woman.
i know you think that whatever you all do for me is for my own good. you want me to be successful, want my family to be successful. but my expectations are VERY different from yours, so what makes you think that you can just take away whatever that i worked hard for, take away my happiness?
Since young I've worked so hard just to make you see that im as capable as my sister. that im a bright kid too. but now I'm not even asking for your acknowledgement, i just want some trust. trust that i know what im doing, and trust that im smart enough to be successful in my own way. and even if i fall down, i'll be responsible for my own actions. i'll stand back up and move on , and learn from my mistakes.
I know you think that you're protecting me, but you're not. you're like keeping a child in a sterilized room, afraid that he/she might get infected by any sort of germs or bacteria, but you're depriving he/she of oxygen,sunlight, and experiences that are essential for living successfully. with you protection, i wont succeed at all. i'll fall and not know how to get back up.
you all shouldnt generalize everything, shouldnt only look in ur own point of view. Just because getting into University in singapore is difficult, doesnt mean that people who dont get into one is Stupid and Useless and not successful. Just because the people you hire dont know how to do work properly, doesnt mean that people working in my part time job dont know how to do their work.
Dont generalize, and Dont assume. dont assume that what you want for me is what i want.
and maybe you're right about me changing. maybe you all have always been like this. Is just i havent realise how insulting you guys are until now.
im sorry. i know you two love me alot. but i dont know how to not rant about how you love me. in fact its making me very tired.
