those little things.

reality.

2011-12-23T01:51:00.002+08:00

I suddenly have the urge to blog. so many things i wanna whine about. but nobody to hear them. i'd find myself irritating if i continue whining to people as well.

Friends. how many of them stays throughout your life? none i presume. I watch my parents, and other adults. they dont have friends whom they tell their problems to.
As we grow up, we slowly keep to ourselves more. because we get busy, and cant care so much about people's life. we're humans, Our lives and our own problems are always more important than anyone else, because humans are selfish.

I wish i will never age. Or maybe die around 60 before all the illnesses come. so terrible ): but yea. i know. its part and parcel of life and all that.

i feel that i cant communicate with people anymore ): its like year 1 in poly again. feeling all those "No one understands" "No one is there for me" all those bullshit. its not like i can control any of it. ): and i thought talking to people will make things better. but no. it made it worst. and i wished i didnt whine to my friends today. i feel so pathetic.

im so damn tired with life. working. money. i just wanted a day of fun for myself. but i guess im just not fated to play. went one big round and i still have to work on saturdays. do what? wash plates. yea. on SATURDAY MORNINGS. i swear i've never work so hard in my entire life. never taken up so many different kind of jobs in such a short period of time. haha. desperate needs brings desperate measures. (:

life is short. cherish what we have.

day 24

2011-03-30T17:45:00.005+08:00

slacking at the hotel alone today! everyone went silk market again. im not emo-ing okay. just really tired, and dont really like silk market. hahahha. i didnt gym for one week already! going down today. =x hahahaha. finally some peace, because normally alot of people one!

sorry to those who emailed me and didnt recieve replies! the connection here is damn slow! i cant send out my mail D: sorry!! but im fine so dont worry! just rather home sick! :s cant wait to get back! wish everthing will still be the same!

anyway, have been iceskating alot lately! because its cheapp! hahaha. went twice already. going again tommorow. stacey is a skater, as in the roller blade kind. so shes gets really high when we go iceskating because its quite similar.

class is still as boring. but manage to stay awake today :D everybody like playing games during class only. the guys spam dota. then some of us play crazy taxi and super meat boy. hahahha.

oh i watched finish vampire diaries already! :D :D :D its super nice! cant wait for the next few episodes to come out.

ok i know my post like so messy. alittle here and there. too lazy to think! falling asleep already because the room is so dark. ok some pictures!

saw this really funny sign by the road. look at the grass behind the sign.. HAHAHA.

the lollipop hannah gave me before i left for beijing :D cute rite! ate it at great wall of china.

shoes i've bought so far. =x i know i have to stop, or else i really wont have enought luggage space.

okie rest awhile then going down for gym already! byebye!

day 21

2011-03-27T09:10:00.003+08:00

havent been updating! :X the internet is irritating. and i always have to wait for my turn because only one person can use per time.

nothing much happened this week. didnt go out during weekdays because we were too tired after class. also because we overspent, so need to save more money. haha. went iceskating yesterday though. its much cheaper here! 50 yuan for 1.5 hours on weekends, and 10 yuan every hour after that. rental included. so we paid S$12 for 2.5 hours (:

going to silk road today. another cheap cheap shopping street. but dont think i'll wanna buy anything unnecessary. spent alot already=. yesterday was my turn to pay for groceries and that took 140 yuan. sigh. but need to get the RC plane for my final year project from silk road though.

i miss home so much! wish i can go back now! ): 6 weeks is too long!

wonder how things will be like after 6 weeks. dreading the outcome of this OITP. ): its like i can already feel the change taking place. drifting away from everyone in singapore,not being able to be there for those who need me ): what kind of a friend,girlfriend,daughter am i. really wish i could be there, you know?
im in a bad mood today! couldnt sleep last night. cried alot. D: i slept at 2am and woke at 6am, lie on the bed till now! >< going to bathe soon!

i dont have any pictures to upload because i dont have a camera. -/ so too bad! bye people!

day 13

2011-03-19T10:54:00.002+08:00

helllo!! this week waa a 4 training day week. :D

so thursday night we went xi dan to shop again cause li er didnt get to shop that day. she was feeling unwell. and so i bought lots of stuffs again! =x 3 tops, ok actually thats all. but i feel that its alot. haha. all for 5 bucks each. then ate at some chinese fastfood called he he gu. something like yoshinoya. its not bad. but china food all so salty!

we had a day off from class on friday. the company brought us to China Aviation museum! quite interesting, saw lots and lots of planes. but mostly military aircraft, and after awhile we saw so many that its not fun anymore. really alot alot. hahaha.
then next stop, great wall of china! 2nd time climbing. climbed abit further this time round, but its so tiring! its worst than gym okay! hahaha.

reached back hotel at 6 plus. went for dinner nearby cos was too tired to walk any further. i love the dan chao fan at that stall :D yummm. came back and went to gym. i must be mad. so tired aready. hahaah. have been gyming every alternate days, but doesnt seem like its working. still v cui. hahahah. oh well.

lazy to upload photos today! some other day! hahahah. going out already!

happy belated birthday hannah!
happy belated birthday papi!
:D

day 11.

2011-03-16T07:01:00.005+08:00

hey havent been updating for quite awhile. i wanted to update about my first weekend on monday. but after recieving some bad news from sg i didnt think any of the things i wanted to blog was important anymore. ): i wish i was in singapore, wish i could be there. couldnt sleep that night cos i was worrying like mad. i wish everything is going to be okay.

so i spent my saturday at xi dan shopping. bought one leather jacket and a normal jacket. love bargaining :) especially when the shop keeper gets pissed, means i bargained till quite a good price alrdy. hehe.

anw saturday wasnt cold! like 20 degrees! so i thought sunday i would wear lesser since the forecast said 18 degress. but man, the wind was SOOOO strong. like 350km/hr. forgot to take that into consideration. so when we went birdnest on sunday, i was freezing! woah. hahaha. but quite shiok. hahahah. ok,shall post some pics!

first one i bought! leather jacket! i've been aiming for one since last year. i got this for 100rmb. suppose to be 280rmb. i tot i bargained quite alot already. but its still S$20. ): kinda regret, could have gotten it cheaper. but still love it! (:

white jacket i got for S$4 :D best buy of the day.

okok no time i need to go for breakfast and class! :D i love hotel breakfast! byebye people. and please take care~ i love you all!

day 3!

2011-03-08T16:22:00.005+08:00

hello! its 4.30pm! im at the hotel resting. so tired! i wish i can stay at the hotel today and not go out for dinner. but they dont want and dont let me stay here alone.
so oh well. updating now so i wont use comp at night, gonna sleep earlier today. really cant stay awake in class. had a small test today. scored 12/15. could have scored better. alot of them full marks.

oh theres like a tea/coffee snacks table at the back of the class. so i'll have this on my table throughout the day! manage to make me stay awake for at least the first half of the day. hahaha! eat eat eat, sigh. should i gym tonight? hmmm.

hahaha. and today is 三八节！march the 8th u know. its like a "women" day! so all the girls will get flowers. i got one from the company, and one when i went for lunch. hahaha. cool right!

going out at 5.30pm. eating some halal steamboat 3 roads down the street today. hope it'll be good! shall nap awhile. nights!

now i can get in twitter's homepage but i cant sign in!

day 2!

2011-03-07T21:29:00.002+08:00

hello! the weather isnt so cold today. at least nv shiver shiver. maybe im getting used to it. haha.

went pratt and whitney today. first day at training! class was boring! i sat right in front. didnt sat with stacey they all, cos their row filled alrdy. was trying hard to stay awake! today 9am-3pm only, somemore we had introduction. and we're alrdy dying. tommorrow onwards will be 9pm to 4pm everyday! hahaha. oh well. cant believe we're studying during holidays.

lunch was provided, but we had to walked to airbus company which was 5 mins away. i like walking in the cold with the sun shining bright. its quite comfortable! hahaha.

dinner was provided today cause we had welcome party by the company. ok so thats about all. havent went town yet. maybe on wednesday.

started watching fringe on comp! NICE! hahaha. and have been watching alot of HBO (Y). wish i can stay in the hotel and watch all day! hahaha. okok update again tmr! hope everyone is fine in singapore!!

oh i cant get on twitter and msn ): i dunno why.

first day.

2011-03-07T00:56:00.002+08:00

hey everyone! im at the hotel in beijing! im suppose to be sleeping. my room mates slept alrdy, so im trying to type as quietly as possible.

i reached beijing around 3.30pm. by the time we check in it was alrdy 6pm, so we went to find dinner! ate at some halal shop because one of them is a muslim. i didnt like the food =/ really ate till very xin ku. but of course i still ate. haha. they found it okay eh, >< if they're going to return there every now and then im gonna be so sad! i hope there are nicer food around.

after that went to supermarket to get tibits and drinks. cup noodles all that. came back to the hotel at 9pm. i went to gym after that!went alone cos the other 2 girls are not gym kind. hahaa. i think i overexerted alittle. feeling so sore now.

ok sooo, i still dont fit in here :( dont know what stacey they all are talking about sometimes. dont know why they find some things funny. im trying very hard to not be negative, keep telling myself it'll be ok after awhile. hope so. but for now i really feel very out. i dunno what to say to them,and they dont really include me either :/ . im ultra quiet, which is so unlike me ):

i'll get used to it even if it doesnt get better. 6 weeks, i'll survive! :D ok going to sleep. waking in 5 hours! nights people in singapore!

I love you.

2011-02-21T10:21:00.004+08:00

婆婆，我知道有一段时间我一直跟您顶嘴。我还在您背后叫您 "bad grandma". 我有时候会觉得您很不讲道理，还很多时候被您气到哭。但可能是因为这样，我更珍惜您说我好的时候。记得有一次我送你花，您笑着对我说我选的好。那时真的很开心。（：

从来没对您说过，我爱你，婆婆。

my love!

2011-02-20T16:30:00.004+08:00

PRETTY RITE! :D the love that i gotten! $119 ): xin yang yang. but i'll make sure i protect this baby. i'll not lose it! hooks little finger!

BUT theres a prettier one that i wanted so badly! and its only $89!! ): i really really love that one alot! but its not really good for running. more of indoor sports kind. totally cushionless. buts its lovely! show you all!

NICE RITE! sigh. guess we're just not meant to be. ): i'm gonna miss it so much.

it's okay. i still love the one i gotten. :D finally! happy! gonna gym with it alot in china! lalala!

okay! gonna study and stop thinking bout those 2!
"even the sweetest chocolate expires". i love that quote. because its so damn true.

if i was old enough..

2011-02-17T20:33:00.004+08:00

i wished all of them will just stop bullying my parents. ): never mind that the workers are like that, but even their own siblings. rawr!

AMP test tmr tmr tmr tmr TMR! o.O 4 more chapters and its 8.45! howhowhow!? okay bye! good luck to everyone having exams! aja aja fighting!

define (:

2011-02-16T22:15:00.002+08:00

daloosy is in a good mood today :D

i nearly nearly screwed up my computer aided design test today. i realise i did everything wrongly when im left with 15 minutes! i panic like mad okay! but i managed to do something to it and made it okay. hahaha! really glad. (:

went for lunch with gabby after that because it's her birthday. talked alot alot alot. and tea party is a nice place. ^^

reached home at 2pm! feel super duper happy to be home so early! hahaha! got time to nap. maybe thats why im happy today. i realise i used to nap everyday last time. but this year i got so busy that i've never been home before 8pm before. is that the reason why i became such an emo kid? haha. i miss how happy go lucky i was last time!

but its going to be okay, because this horrible term is ending. after exams i'll be off to somewhere far from home. i'll sleep early every single night, i'll gym every single day. i'll leave all the unhappiness behind and be a happy girl. :D

sometimes its the small little gesture that people you least expect to care does that keeps the smile going. :D

next stop.

2011-02-15T18:15:00.002+08:00

how far.

i tried.

2011-02-14T23:22:00.002+08:00

do you know how it feels. when no matter what you do is wrong. no matter what you do, the person still gets upset.

do you know how helpless that feeling is. if you think you're not important to me, then you should start thinking again.

in my whole 18 years of life, i've met with so many of such persons. so hard to statisfy, no matter how hard i try.
i just wished i knew what i should do. maybe i should just keep my mouth shut, because it seems like im not allowed to feel unhappy.

just wished someone could understand.

mug!

2011-02-13T12:31:00.002+08:00

taking a break from rwp. i woke up at 8.30 today to do my report! such a good girl. though i fell asleep at 10am, but woke at 10.30am okay! power nap!

just 30 minutes, but i dreamt! cause i very long never dream of anything already. hahah! its all super random. i dreamt that alot of bugs suddenly came out of my bag. its super freaky. then no matter how i try to kill them they still can come alive. ~.~ then suddenly i was on twitter and i saw something that made me go tiong bahru plaza. i cant remember what. and i saw something scary and i wanted to run away then i woke up panting. okay random.

rwp killing me. but im more than half done so im motivated to complete it BY TODAY. :D

oh and, i swear im never gonna watch SAW anymore. 5 minutes of it is enough to kill. i keep thinking of the screwing head thingy and the elbow. yucks. okay LUNCH! then rwp for the rest of the day.

hang on 1308! 11 more days! (:

sweet!

2011-02-11T00:22:00.002+08:00

suddenly feel like the luckiest girl ever. (:

hello 1308. i love you.

its time.

2011-02-09T21:58:00.003+08:00

take care. i dont know what else to say. ): it's only 2 weeks but i feel like it'll be forever.

so used to our daily night talks. so used to reporting every single thing i do. so used to waiting for you to wake up at 1pm. so used to quarreling with you every few days. haha.

hope you'll know how to wash your clothes after my explanation! dont show attitude to your sirs ah! you think everyone like me let you show attitude arh! nonono. =x AND you better not be late when you report for everything. no one will be as patient as me. HAHA! im like praising myself. seriously lar you're always late! i think i've waited for you for more than 50 hours in total for the pass 3 plus years. seriously. tsk. CHANGE your habits! looking forward. hahah!

i'm gonna miss you. ): i dont know how we'll survive this 2 years. dont know if we will. things will definitely be different, it'll be tough but i'll still give it a shot. :D i'll be waiting for you to return. <3

how.

2011-02-07T23:00:00.002+08:00

i feel so moody. ):

dont want 10 feb to come.

lost in the woods

2011-02-07T01:16:00.004+08:00

theres a period of time, not long ago, when i felt like a lost puppy. i think i've been contradicting myself, turning around in circles, not knowing what i want.

that period of time was torturous. because i didnt know where i was heading to. my future became so uncertain till i was so afraid there would be nothing left.

i said certain things that doesnt make sense. things that i wish i didnt say. but no point regretting now because theres nothing i can do about it. i just wish that i've learnt my lesson and now i have to cherish the people around me well.

i know whos the best to me, and who'll always be there.
espcially after dance concert. im certain theres this group of people who'll always be supporting me.

i love them all. (: i know you love me too. im a lucky girl.

( My first time making such a pic! :D proud of myself. look at the time.im suppose to be slping, or doing my assignments. but oh well. emotional day for me. nights! )

pre DGNS syndrome.

2011-02-06T19:33:00.002+08:00

): why am i still in a bad mood. its been a day! sigh. i dont even feel like going out for dinner.

RWP. you're a pita.

done the cny assignment for RWP. now i still have my main report thats due in 2 weeks. im not even half done. doing amp assignment now. doing catia assignment tml.

1) stats test next week.
2) amp and catia test next next week.
3) exams in 2 weeks time.
4) beijing in 4 weeks time.
5) DGNS in 4 days.

SIGH.give me a reason to smile.

i must do well.

2011-02-06T10:50:00.003+08:00

After thursday, im going to study like never before.

but why must i end my last paper on 4th march. 6.10PM SOMEMORE. ): i wont even get to go anywhere before i fly off.

im a good girl because i study when im unhappy. im going to do rwp now. bye.

6th feb. 4.

2011-02-06T10:39:00.003+08:00

sigh. i really dont like twitter. nv fails to make me unhappy. just like how blogger used to make me sad last time. i think it still does sometimes.

dont like seeing, knowing certain things. but i know it still exist even if i dont see it.

not going to use twitter for awhile. sometimes i really rather live in denial. ):

"In life, people come and go. If only i could choose who to stay, and who to leave."

"The worst feeling is when someone makes you feel special, then suddenly leaves you hanging, and you have to act like you don't care at all."

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY JA LO LEE!!

2011-02-05T23:49:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday jerelyn! this is your 7th birthday since i met you :D im really glad to have you as a friend! so many memories, so many joy and laughter spent with you.

i remember how you helped me copy the class time table when i got transfered into your class. and thats how we became friends (: maybe if you didnt we wouldnt end up being such good friends. hahaha!

i remember feeling jealous when you went to jc. when you made new friends, and seem to be having fun without me =x but obviously now i know you love me more! HAHAH!

im sorry for all the times i've made you unhappy! and sometimes i feel really hopeless when i cant find a way to cheer you up. i'll feel like im not a good enough friend because i cant make you happy. then i'll get jealous of ppl like hardy and the rest cos they seems to cheer you up better =x hahaha im a retard i know.

oh and i love shopping orchard with you even though i complain that you walk here and there and make me so tired everytime. hahaha!

aiya all in all, ILYFTROML. :D there will never be another person who can replace you in my life. thanks for always being there!

pray hard!

2011-01-25T23:28:00.003+08:00

Im rather demoralise for long jump and triple jump now ): shall not state the reason. BUT SIGH. i dont wanna get last. really really really dont want. but even if i want to train harder now also no time already. HOW. ): feel so lousy! cant seem to do anything well.

because of dance i havent been doing my part in my groupwork too. ): so sorry. really guilty, but i really cant find time for now.

had rehearsals from 10am-10pm today. everything was okay except for junior's piece >< cuiii. Ryan wanted to scrape that piece. wont know till thursday though. TIRED today.

2 days to concert. 3 days to competition. angsty!

tonight,the stars shine bright.

2011-01-24T22:52:00.002+08:00

i feel better today. (: finally. realy glad. at least i see some light now! :D

trained triple jump alone today. really glad i went to train today, because i feel much more confident now (: coach paul is a really great coach. a few words, and i can improve from 8.1m to 8.6m. hahaha! power rite! coach seem nv talks to me like that b4. but both coaches have their own good points i guess! :D

my shin and toe hurts really badly right now. but im happy. because i think it's worth it.
really hope i'll do a good job this time. my confidence level have been really low since this year. need something to tell me that actually im not that bad. that i can be good at something.

I want to redeem myself for all the bad stuffs i've done. the past few days must have been some form of punishment for me. (: it'll get better soon. not completely healed, but at least happier than yesterday. ming tian hui gen hao.

whats wrong.

2011-01-24T06:39:00.003+08:00

I dont even know why i'm feeling like shit. i just am. if this continues, i'm going to end up hating everything around me. ): i'll be an unhappy kid. i'll grow up to be a lonely old hag. those that are unreasonable, grumpy, evil.

bu gan xin to be treated this way. i want so much more, so much which im not allowed to ask for.

i know those are just excuses. i wish all these will just go away and leave my mind alone.

so irritated. so angry. from now, i'll never believe what anyone says so easily anymore. words, so easily said, so easily forgotten.

lies. angry angry angry angry angry. ): whats wrong with me. I dont know how to feel happy. someone tell me this misery will end soon. it will.

dont feel like doing anything else.

):

2011-01-23T16:05:00.003+08:00

because in the end. in the end..

everything's not the same anymore.

fate.

2011-01-22T21:58:00.002+08:00

My little toe survived today's dance and track! :D proud of myself. though it hurts now. i shall let it rest tomorrow. prepare for next week.

6 days to stage.
7 days to jumps.
8 days to freedom! :D

after that i'll start complaining bout exams. but oh well, leave it first. =x

Its especially difficult when the skies are dark. ):

Whats meant to be will be. Maybe a few years down the road, we'll see each other on the streets. we'll catch up on all the things we missed in each other life. we'll smile knowing whats on each others mind.

Or maybe, we'll go separte ways. towards whats meant for us.

Whos knows.

for now, i'll work hard for what i want to become. work hard to be a better person. work hard for myself.

19.

2011-01-19T21:53:00.003+08:00

Today was suppose to be a happy day. it started off well. and just when i thought i'd finally smile for the entire day, everything came crashing down. not fated. fate. please stop playing with me.

really exhausted from all these. its like god's throwing everything at me, non-stop, one after the other. ): karma. karma. karma.

competition/concert is next week. i really feel like giving up, backing out, running away from every single thing. ): i dont even have time to train anymore! next week theres rehearsal everyday, i dun even need to attend classes! i only tried high jump ONCE and im suppose to compete. what.is.this. really scared for dance as well. afraid to dissapoint those who are coming to watch. 12 bucks, what if i screw up. i cant even remember the last time i performed! ): i dont want to be the one who pull everybody down again, just like the relay that time. horrible.

obviously i have no choice but to get on with whatever im doing.
I'll survive, just let me rant here and i'll be fine.

homework time.

FOOD!

2011-01-18T23:21:00.001+08:00

and i really cant stop eating!! i ate lunch at 12pm, but i got very very hungry at 1pm. i just ate finish dinner, and im super hungry now!! WHY LIKE THAT! ):

reality.

2011-01-18T22:23:00.004+08:00

The world of reality is a cruel one. everyone should learn to depend on themselves, because nobody will be there forever and ever. forever and ever doesnt even exist. fairytales are just lies to bluff little kids.

really feel like a selfish person ):
last sunday, i was feeling moody, so i didnt want to go for my family dinner. i should have went, instead of putting my emotions first. i dont even know how many more times i'll get to eat with my grandma already. ): she went back indonesia today. because her maids' visa expired. so need to wait till its approved before she can come back. my dad told me, now whenever she sits down, she'll jus naturally close her eyes. its like her body is going to stop functioning soon or something.
sigh.

and i can still sit at home and feel all moody over unimportant stuffs. cant help feeling disgusted with myself.

and its really true. that if i dont love myself, i wont know how to love another. so what rights do I have to want to be loved. sigh. i must cherish the people around, because I wont know when they'll disappear, just like that. without a single warning ):

all sorts of shits. and i thought i'll be busy enough to stop me from thinking.
new year resolutions - ultimate fail.

grow grow grow.

2011-01-17T02:40:00.002+08:00

sometimes i feel like im super childish, stubborn, irresponsible, selfish. okay maybe most of the time. ):

i need to grow up. i keep telling myself that but its not working. i wish i can fast forward my life to see whats going to happen.

INDEPENDENCE. till then. bye!

Only say the words

2011-01-14T13:41:00.002+08:00

I do not know what words to write. There have been so many words written already. So many endings and beginnings. I have lost my faith.

Yesterday I sat at this table for hours and wrote nothing but your name. I wrote it in the four corners of the page, as if by doing so I might conjure you at it's centre. I wrote it while waiting to begin, but how can I begin without faith? I have gone through days when I was certain I would never sit down again and try to write anything. I have despised myself for the weeks and months of unlived life spent creating those books of mine that stand on the shelf above the fireplace. What was first a refuge became the place where I was most comfortable, where I could forgive God His own oversights and blunders and make the plots come out right. But what now? I seem to know no other way of living except to sit each day before the white screen and listen for the words. I do not want to invent a meaning this time. I don't want to pretend there is a God or that the innocent die for reasons secret and profound.

And so I sit here, and feel your absence and wonder how to begin a live without you

Begin.
Kate.

The blankness of the page is like a hurt. I write your name on the paper tonput you back into my life. As though words were real things. As though when I write your name you are here.

Kate.

I'm sitting at SP's library waiting for statistics class to start. I picked a book 'only say the word' , read the first page. And started tearing. I find those words really touching. And maybe cause I'm listening songs, emo mood! I'm gonna borrow this! :)

2nd time.

2011-01-07T00:06:00.003+08:00

I was really upset yesterday. so much for my new year resolution. >< so upset that i cant really remember what i did. hadnt been like that for awhile. but forget it.because i know when i did the wrong things, i was forgiven too. and i believe everyone should have 3 chances to grow up and learn.last chance. i must grow up too. (:

today was a busy day. but im quite glad with all the improvements im making recently. (: with hard work comes reward! top eight for jumps and i'll be contented. top three can wait alitte longer >< i should be sleeping by now. but dont feel like yet. tommorow is going to be a long day. i know i should be cherishing time with my sister, but i cant help dreading it ): sorry. i really feel like an outcast in this family now.

i remember crying and telling you that you're going to forget me and come back with an american accent just before you left for boston. you reassured me and say you wont be different. but.. guess i already knew this would happen. kinda miss the times when we stayed up late and talk about our feelings and problems,making honey chicken in the middle of the night,baking all sorts of different things together.

oh well.

cant wait for holidays!!

first day of school!

2011-01-03T20:26:00.008+08:00

i only had 2 classes today. because i pon one for my ftt, and one was canceled. hehe. I got full marks for FTT! :D smart rite! saw junhong at the test, caught up alittle on the way to school.

went for jogging elective after school despite the rain. not alot of people turned up but it was fine i guess. only 2 more lessons :D happy but sad. sad cos i wont get to earn 11bucks per hour anymore! i want to find a permanent part time admin job. but normally admin dont have part time ones!

today was kinda relaxing, but my busy schedule starts tml >< gonna have back to back track and dance trainings on tuesday and thursday. but i usually produce better results when im tired so its alright.

target for long jump this polite : 4.3 m! :D
target for triple jump this polite: 8.8m! :D

i want to be happy, but..
Felt really silly today for expecting too much. ended up feeling alittle sad/hurt i guess. karma. must be.

BUT I SHALL STAY HAPPY. :D

dhbcm.

Driving tommorrow morning!! heheh. heres my dream car! daihatsu copen! (:

byebye! im really smelly! with all the rain and sweat. yuck. =x

goodbye 2010,hello 2011.

2010-12-30T23:47:00.002+08:00

it doesnt feel like a year yet, but 2010 is coming to an end! ): i wont say that 2010 has been a very good year, but i'm still going to miss it very much.

everything will be soooo different next year, with ppl around me going army, preparing for university, while im still stuck in poly. yup.

its going to be a though year, but we'll live through it and make it a good one. i know new year resolutions usually dont work, because nobody remembers them after the first month. but here goes,almost the same as every year.

MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS:
1) learn to cherish the people around me.
2) do my best in everything i do. (dance,track,studies)
3) grow up and be more independent. maybe the beijing trip will help (:
4) 165cm!
5) most importantly, BE A HAPPY GIRL! i must stop complaining about every single thing around me or else i'll turn into an old auntie,seriously.

hope everyone around me will live happily ever after!

january 2011 will be the busiest month in my 18 years of life i swear! its going to be tough, but i will really do my best and try to overcome every obstacle i face. it'll all be worth it (: ( i feel like i'm going for war or something ><)

face every situation with a smile, and all the problems shall be gone!

happy new year!

forgive,forgive not?

2010-12-07T20:13:00.003+08:00

utterly dissapointed. angry definitely. upset. hurt. why.

why does it matter? because i care?
just like dad. D:

you knew i hated it. why did you still go ahead.

need to catch up!

2010-12-05T12:14:00.005+08:00

hello! here to share some pictures! went batam/bintan twice over the last month to do OCIP. its a one day thing. we went to a school to teach english. it was really difficult with the language barrier, but lucky i still understand certain indo words. =p the primary 3 kids are really cute! but they all look so small compared to singapore primary 3 kids. and most of them are always barefooted. quite sad i didnt manage to take any pictures with them.

only took ourselves eating A&W! :D

and the donuts we bought from J.C.O . very cheap! :D less than a dollar each. hehe.
i like doing OCIP. gonna go for another one next year, this time most likely it'll be for about 10days or so.

Its Mid semester Test week! feeling very lazy to study.>< but im glad i only have 3 papers, finished 2 last week!:D with only one module i dislike (that module only mcq). hahahah.

I feel like i havent seen everyone in a long time. everyone seems to be going out, catching up with each other because Alevels is over. and im like stuck with my own things. i havent seen any of the girls for dont know how long! ): really looking forward to dec 20th!

feeling guilty for not spending enough time with certain people. hope I can make it up soon. looking forward to badminton session with darren,hongyew,gabby after mst too!

i will fly!

2010-11-21T21:50:00.005+08:00

things i need to achieve before graduation:

1) grow 2cm taller.
2) increase my blood pressure.
3) get GPA 4.0 for at least one semester.
4) got for lasik and attain perfect eyesight.

all of which seems impossible. but im gonna try my best! :D i really hope i can get into SIA right after poly! then i wont have to go for university! wont have to suffer studying for another 3 years without friends. tsktsk! hahaha.

pray hard! work hard! ^^
one day i'll get to fly in that cockpit, and say "This is your captain speaking.."

gravity.

2010-10-07T01:00:00.002+08:00

This whole week is just disastrous.

it'll be better soon. i hope.

results.

2010-10-04T19:44:00.002+08:00

results are out.
i wasn't really unhappy about my results at first, though i was kind of disappointed, but i expected the 2 B+. (Fundamentals of flight,Ematerials)

i was disappointed cause i was aimming for a maximum of 1 B per sem. but overall i didn't thought my GPA was very bad, then all those people had to come spoil everything. ): so wad if you all get gpa 4. u dont have to sound so sacarstic. this is so unfair.

i feel like blaming everything on the YOG break but whats the point. i want to promise myself i'll do better than everyone next semester but we're preparing for dance concert and there'll be dance almost everyday. can i really cope? ):

now, forever.

2010-09-30T22:50:00.006+08:00

hello bonks. just to say. I MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH.

u know my dance friends came to stay over yesterday night. then it just wasnt the same feeling when u all stayed over or when i spend time with you all. i dont know why :/ then i started missing you all so much and wished we were all still in commonwealth, or during the time after olevels.

okay, i have so many things to complain about my friend.one night and i dont feel like letting them come my house stay ever again =x but shall tell you all next time when we meet up. hhehe.

anw, 2nd week of holiday is ending already! dont know why so fast!! i havent get to do much, and theres nothing much to do either. friday is my only free day, and usually its darren day! the rest of the days are all dance days, track days. >< sat sun are work days. hahaha. i think this paragraph is weird because theres so many "days".

ok i dont know what i wanna say anymore. HEHE. BYE

WEET!

2010-09-16T22:26:00.003+08:00

OHHHHHHHHHHH IM SUPER EXCITED NOW!

BECAUSE I HEARD THAT THEY are OPENING THE UNIVERSAL RIDES FOR US TOMMORROW! :DDDD muahahahhahahahahhahaha. i was actually feeling quite sianx cause im going with people im not really close with. but now that i hear that the rides are gonna be open im feeling uber super HIGH! muahahahaha.

AND

IM DONE WITH EXAMS! :D

Ok shall write more tommorow! ^^

a place where i belong?

2010-09-15T23:37:00.004+08:00

Just like a minute ago i was feeling really happy and excited, and now im all down. ):

wads wrong with me, i should be more optimistic. I shouldnt think about what others have that i don't , and cherish what i do have with me now.

my parents always tell me when i grow up, i'll only have myself and my partner to support each other.just like their situation. maybe, but now, theres more to that that i want and need.

can't wait for saturday so i can dance and stretch again.

SAKAE SUSHI!

2010-09-15T22:26:00.005+08:00

Hello everyone! DAISY FOUND A JOB! at SAKAE SUSHI. ^^

they called me down for training today, so i had to go down to tai seng street where their office is. the building had the HUMONGOUS green frog logo. haha. the training was suppose to be from 10am-6pm. there were 7 of us there today. we learned some basic japanese, mostly fish names and how to say welcome and thank you in Japanese. also all the usual mission,vission,core values,attire,attitude stuffs. and how to make wasabi and miso soup! how to arrange the table settings,etc.

yea, wasnt as easy as i expected! theres whole lot more to it. >< hahahah. but im quite excited to start because i finally have a uniform to wear! hahahhaha! have been deprived of one ever since the start of poly. but i hope i wont be clumsy and drop everything on the floor when im serving. ><

the training ended early, at 4 plus, so i went over to my parent's office since it was near by. then they had an event to attend at the marina bay sands resort, so they drove me to town and i took bus back to westmall to meet my grandpa for dinner. i actually have to take a typhiod jab b4 i start work, but raffles medical was closed when i reached millenia walk. INJECTION :(

my granddad have been staying with me for more than a week now, and he love fruits, tofu and chicken rice w/o chicken. and i have been eating them every single day!! i think i can survive w/o food for 3 days now cause i no longer feel hungry, and the sight of food makes me feel like puking. the portion of fruits he gives me itself can make me full for the entire day. and thats 3 times a day! not counting the other small little stuff he gives. but then i have a very cute granddad and he's really nice. hahah. so oh well. at least he's happier staying here than in my uncle's house :)

im going track tommorow to unfatten myself!

anyway tommorow will be my last paper for this semestral exams. like FINALLY. really looking forward to friday's driving theory class,universal studio with yog, and STAY OVER :D weeee. off to study! byeeeee!

ppft.

2010-09-02T20:17:00.004+08:00

Today i had a test for engineering design. But the test wasnt at the original lesson classroom. its at some other classroom.And i was the only one in class that doesnt know. and no one bothered to tell me either, so i waited there till i was almost late. sad rite. but lucky i made it there just on time.

i really really wish i'll be posted to a different class next semester. :( This week is revision week, but lesson is as usual so you can go school to ask teacher questions. and guess wad! i havent been attending any lesson, which is very unlikely of me. because whenever i think of the people i need to see if i go for class i'll feel very irritated and sian. so i rather study at home. ><

on a lighter note, i went to bukit gombak stadium to train with dinah today. So i feel really healthy now! :) it was super sunny the sky was all blue without any clouds! i think im super tan though it was jus 1 hour plus under the sun. haha.

ookay im really smelly, BYE.

humans are like that.

2010-08-24T15:04:00.002+08:00

Its so easy for others to spot our mistakes when we do something wrong,so easy for them to scream and scold.

but when we do something right or good, no one would even notice, let alone praise you.

i didnt leave the key there on purpose.. you always make me feel like a bad daughter.

nevermind. my mind is bursting cause of the stupid essay that is gonna be due soon. i want to finish it by today or else i wont have the mood to study!! >< i hate writing essays. to think that i chose poly thinking i'll never need to take english/write argumentative essays about current affairs anymore. ARGHS.

its all for my own good. but i know one day when i grow up and won't have to write any more essays, i'll wish i was young again.

different now.

2010-08-21T15:00:00.005+08:00

Hey, have been neglecting this space for quite long.

i'm at airport doing YOG duty now. just came over from dance practice, and i think im super smelly. ><

went out with jerelyn to expo yesterday! it was my first time there! :D we ate at texas chicken. it smells just like kfc! the chicken is quite nice though. jerelyn thinks its better than kfc's one. haha.

after that went office. had K session again. my parents ordered pizza for us. it was a great night ^^

i miss bonkerdds. it seems like a very long time since we went out tgt. miss the feeling of having u guys around.

sigh i feel like i dont have much friends. ):
it just doesn't feel right.

LASTLY, i remember saying that i'll make full use of my 3 weeks break, but i only start on one module. >< i wish i was how i was in sec 4, or at least a little more hardworking!

my poor watch and shoe

2010-07-10T18:40:00.005+08:00

SEE THE WATCH ON MY HAND!
SEE THE PINK ADIZERO SHOE!

SUCH NICE STUFFS. BUT NOW ITS GONE! :'(

:( SIGH. its all my fault. next time during those personality workshops when they ask me what do i dislike about myself. i'll say i dislike myself for being a careless person! sighhhh.

i want to apologise to darren, because i lost so many things that he bought for me. besides the watch, i already lost 2 water bottles you gave. SORRY. but i know u're nice and u'll forgive me. :D i am guilty okay!

i dont dare to tell my mum about my shoe. im gonna have to think of something. haha.
thanks jerelyn for lending me your shoe! :D

anw, im really busy with school now. so tired! and im lagging behind. hope i can catch up soon. feeling so lost in class. the feeling is really annoying! im gonna make full use of my 3 weeks break i swear! i will get a GPA 4 for this sem! hehe.
no harm aiming higher.

okay off to do my work! BYEBYE!

covers!

2010-07-04T00:35:00.004+08:00

nice! i want a laptop cover! :D

school.

2010-07-01T00:19:00.003+08:00

haven't been posting much already. haha. can't get used to writing down everything im thinking. haha.

school has started! so tired i don't even want to switch one the comp. haha. its been track,dance,track,dance for the past few days. gonna be like that for the rest of the year. surprisingly dont feel like ponning anything. prefer dance though. :D if only im better.

my results were not bad!:D hope i can maintain. and do better for those more difficult modules. have FOF project to do this weekend. >< hope my plane flies.
nights!

karate kid!

2010-06-17T23:27:00.003+08:00

Caught karate kid early in the morning,10.30am. the person who tear the ticket don't know how to tear it properly! ): now i cant keep it. anw the show was nice!! i think it was really touching! :D then went to eat jack's place. i ate baked rice student meal. darren ate steak set lunch. haha.

had a fun day with darren yeo! ^^ love you!

back!

2010-06-16T23:23:00.002+08:00

im back from camp! i was back yesterday actually. but i slept the whole day because i was so exhauted! didnt sleep at all during the second night. the camp was alright i guess. night walk was quite fun. but there were very little girls. :( hope the other girls will still turn up for trainings.

had dance annual general meeting today. where they tell us who's the president/captain all that. and theres a series of performance by the seniors. there are really very good dancers is SDZ. (SP dance club) inspired to be as great a dancer one day too. :) i think hiphop is really cool. but hiphop was never my thing. maybe in the years to come i will learn to be a hiphop-er too. but for now shall just master modern dance. haha.

then after that was dance practice. torturous stretching and exercises. but feel good after that knowing i put in the effort. haha. our SDZ production is on 14/15 january. its still a long way, but i believe we should start now in order to put up a great show. hehe.

going to watch karate kid tml! :D happy happy! byebye!

:D lee min ho!

2010-06-11T21:26:00.005+08:00

exams are over~! :D what a relieve. but 2 weeks and school and homeworks and everything will come flooding in again. pouts. nevermind, worry about that later. haha .

went to bukit panjang library after my paper to borrow book. and i realise there's a DAISO new outlet are bp! :D nice luh!

bought tako balls to eat and went home to watch PERSONAL PREFERENCE! (pictures above! )
im already at episode 7! so addictive!! i bet i'll be damn sad when i watch finish. pouts. girls. always living in their own fantasies of drama serials. hahaha. oh well. gonna continue! hehe.

im going for track camp tommorow. feeling very sianx about it. will only be back either on monday or tuesday. depending on my mood. haha. im lazy to pack! >< im gonna miss my bed! the school's floor is extremely unbearable even with sleeping bag! im serious! (spoilt child. hais.) hahaha.

should i?

2010-06-10T17:35:00.002+08:00

oh no im faced with a dilema again. theres this airline transport pilot programme in school. starting next term. it'll be great knowledge if i want to be a pilot or the air control tower person next time. BUT. its on every tuesday and thursday 6pm-10pm. that means i'll have to skip track trainings everytime! doesnt that means im indirectly quitting track. but i feel so bad!

shall discuss with my parents! haha.

OH i feel so excited! i might be going for a OCIP to East Timor during september holidays. and im happy because stacey is going too! :D hehehehe. i think going with people you know will be more fun than going there alone. cause usually everyone else knows each other. hahaha.

1 more to go!

2010-06-10T13:15:00.001+08:00

Im back from school! today's paper was.. o.O im jus glad its over. haha.

Anyway! i just recieved an email congratulating me cause i didnt get kicked out of SP's scholars programme this year. HAHAHA. yipee. ^^ free school rocks.

Tommorrow's paper is going to be another hell, but im very sleepy now and the weather is so cooling. Gonna sleep for 2 hours and wake up to study! yay!

byebye!

Personal preference.

2010-06-09T18:20:00.001+08:00

MY MAIN MOTIVATION TO STUDY HARDER FOR MY LAST 2 PAPERS :D
i dont have much friends, so serials shall do the job! haha. miss the times in css when bonkerdds would go out after the last paper. haha.

I think i did not bad for my past 4 papers! but my remainding 2 papers are difficult modules ): hope i'll do well. jiayou!

im gonna reopen my blog after my mst! :D

cool.

2009-11-29T15:46:00.000+08:00

i read this on wanen's blog and found it really interesting. hahah!

this is the "George Carlin Theory"

the most unfair thing about life is the way it ends... i mean, life is tough. it takes up a lot of your time and what do you get at the end of it? death. i mean, what's that, a bonus? i think the life cycle is all backwards. you should die first, get it out of the way. then you move on to an old people's home. you get kicked out when you're too young. you get a gold watch then you go to work. you work for forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. you have fun, party plenty, then you get ready for senior school. then you go to junior school, you become a kid, you play and you have no responsibilities. you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last months floating...and you finish off as an orgasm.

hahhaha. how cool. if only life's like that.

and i really think my mum is doing this on purpose. sigh.

OFF to do my engineering drawing! ><

IM BACK.

2009-11-28T14:47:00.000+08:00

i've decided to reopen my blog! (: tell me if you're the first to realise! hahha.

i think it's because im too bored. and i need a place to write down my thoughts, i feel like im getting old and my memory isnt working very well. -.-

its 8 months in poly now, and i still cant help regretting getting into it.
why didnt i jus chose some JC to go into, then maybe i wouldnt feel like a loner everytime.
hahahha. OH WELL. i cant reverse time can i?

time seems to be moving soooo slowly. im getting so sick of projects and presentation. i wish something interesting can happen to my life soon.

i miss bonkerdds ): .